TTC month 1: December 2010

So December is a flop. I got my period last week. Tested one last time because I was a week late and within a few minutes of me peeing in a cup and testing, I started spotting. Relief and disappointment. Blah.

Oh well. We will try again in February.

Until then, who needs baby dust? :) I have some to spare for January. 

Frustrated

I have had 3 babies totally unplanned. All "oopsie" babies. Haleigh was an "oopsie" baby as well. Now, when we actually want a baby, it doesn't happen. Ive taken 5 tests in the last two weeks. All came back neg.

I know my body needs time to bounce back from the miscarriage. My uterus needs time to repair and rebuild. But its so hard to play the waiting game.


I just want to see a + or double line one of these days. Im thinking we will play it safe till February or March. Just so I know my body has had enough time to do what it has to do.

Love you Haleigh! Thank you for watching over us and talking some sense into my head. Im a very impatient woman as Im sure God has told you. I just need to slow down. Mommy thinks of you every day!

TTC - Hope after loss

There is something about finding hope after the loss of a pregnancy that brightens even the darkest hour.
We made a silent approval last night between one another that I think we both feel good about. With a simple look in one anothers eyes and an "I love you", we decided to put aside the prevention methods and go with the flow. What ever happens happens. Its not an easy thing to do right now. There is so much fear and 'what ifs' lingering over our heads. Its not going to be an easy road ahead. But for now, Im allowing myself to live again and find hope in a new creation.

BFP! Dont mind if I do!!!
I still miss Haleigh. Im not trying to replace her. She is irreplaceable. Im simply trying to move forward.
I love you baby girl! Thank you for all that you have taught me over the last 2 month 3 weeks and 6 days. The pain still lingers but the hope and faith is returning.