Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Ive felt this way

I came across this post secret from the Post Secret website that I could relate to. Its kinda made me sad a little. I guess it comes from growing up being told not-so-nice things by my step-father. From tramp to slut, it came out of his mouth when I was to put on skirts or even a small amount of make-up. Which is probably why I dont wear either as an adult.

Being pregnant gave me a glow that was so beautiful and natural. Even though I was sick 8 out of the 9 months, I loved the way my body changed and looked. The curves that came as my belly grew. The fresh skin. I just looked, alive. Now I look worn down, tired and o....ol..........old. Does this mean Ill get pregnant again just to feel beautiful? Prooooooobably not.



Monday, October 26, 2009

They Grow So Quickly

Turtle Will be 1 in a month. I cant believe it. He has grown so much in the recent months. He looks so much like his father at times and at times I see so much of me in him. Either way, we made a beautiful baby together.


Newborn (December 2008)

11 Months (October 2009)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Yay!

So I went and did a little "no no" today. I ordered business cards. DONT KILL ME CLIFF!! 250 cards and they look so purdy!



I finally decided on a name for my photo business and now all I need are, well... clients lol My kids will have to do for now until I can drum up some business. Its coming up on holiday seasons so Turkey day and Christmas are prime holidays that people would take pictures for.

Im going to be working on a price table for things today. See what I can do with numbers.

I guess I should get back to unpacking. I really hurt my shoulder today lifting boxes though. Its an ongoing issue with my right shoulder. Been to therapy, worked for a while but now its doing the same crap.

Such is life, I guess.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Some pictures of the house...

ITS A WORK IN PROGRESS!!!!!!!!
This is the new "formal" living area set we got. The couch is huge! And the half sized chair, I still need to get used to where it is. Once I get a rug in there it should pull the room together nicely. A few pictures on the walls wont hurt either.






This is the formal dining room set we bought. Its cost a pretty penny but I love it! I cant decide on if I want a rug in here or not. But there will be stuff on the back wall at least. Maybe a mirror or a pretty picture.



And the breakfast nook area. Simple. The valances over the door and window are coming down and are going to be replaced by burgundy colored ones. Im not a "flower" person when it comes to decor.




The fireplace area where we spend most our time. You can see that we tried out one of the new valances over one of the windows. I think they will fit nicely.




The powder room off the main entry hall.





The kids bathroom. I did frogs. I was going to do monkeys but Targhetto was all out of most of their monkey stuff. Frogs are better anyway for a bathroom. The only things I didnt get for the set was the soap dish and croaking frog waste bucket.





The soap croaks if you press down hard enough lol

This is Jades room. She wants Justin in her room with her still for a little while longer. She really hasnt had the chance to sleep with him in her room so what the heck, she can keep him lol






This is Robbies room. It has a LOT of work that needs to be done on it still as you can see. Im trying to find the legs to his bed to be able to put it together. The legs are the only thing that hold the bed in one piece.




And last is our bedroom. Once again, still unpacking so its a complete and total mess. DONT JUDGE ME!!! I still need to put pictures and stuff on the walls and I want a sitting chair for the corner. I havent done anything with the bathroom yet so I will spare you the horror.


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

YAY!! We made it!! In one piece!!!

We moved and are all in one piece!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the new house. The kids are over and beyond the moon having so much room to run and play. Not to mention rooms to call their own that are HUGE.

We haven't really been full speed on the unpacking. I think after the move itself, we needed a week of recovery.

We bought a new dining room set, new living room set and rugs for two of the rooms. I can honestly say I'm in love with the hardwood floors. Not so much in love with the fact that they are VERY high maintenance. Shark on Thursdays, Wetjet on Mondays, Swiffer in between.

The kids started school last Tuesday. They are still adjusting but seem to be okay with everything. Last week was a little crazy with the whole drop off thing. I guess in this school district, if you don't live across the street from the school, you have to either take the bus or do the car-rider drop off. I personally think it is beyond stupid. I mean, what kind of schools don't promote walking your kids to school??????? I live 5 minutes down the street (2 minute car ride) and I cant even feel comfortable walking the kids to school because there is no place for them to walk in as walkers. Id LOVE to be able to walk to get them come spring time. Maybe I will start walking them. I don't agree with their stuff but there is nothing stating I have to follow it.

Ill post some pictures in a few. Things are so out of place right now but in time it will all be perfect!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow is moving day! EXCITING!!!!

Ive been absent from blogging for a while. Its been hectic with packing that I hardly have time to sleep let alone blog.

We FINALLY closed on the house today. A little irritated with the sellers trying to nickle and dime us on small petty things. They stated that the HOA was paid for up til January in their open house pamphlet and decided last minute that they wanted it refunded stating it was never written into the contract. Which it wasn't, but do not advertise something to try and lure people in if you are not going to honor it. Dishonesty is a big no no in my book.

Oh well, live and learn. They left and that was that. We found out our mortgage payment will be AWESOME. $1880. That's like 2-300 less then we had anticipated! I heard that and the little shopping light came on in my head. lol Shopping is my therapy and I LIKE IT!!

We purchased a Fombag chair today for the boys room. Tomorrow we are buying a new TV for their room so that Bubba and Chili can play their PlayStation games in his room.

We also purchased a security system for the house. Which is not needed really but it will make me feel better.

Cliff met the neighbor today, also. She looked nice. I was in the car feeding the baby so I didn't get a chance to say hi. The cul-de-sac is perfect and the neighbors all have kids that are our kids ages!!! Bub and Chil are going to LOVE it!!!

I still have a ton of things to get done around here. My bedroom isn't even close to being packed and I need to get minor things done in the kids rooms. My mother in law should be here soon. I know the minute she walks in the door it will be like "Oh my, you guys have so much to do still! Lets get going!!" Ill shoot her! I swear I will!! lol She can drive a sane person mad in a matter of an hour with her constant GO GO GO attitude. And her and Cliff, oye! This should be fun HAHA.

Ill try and update as we go from my blackberry.

Wish us luck!! We need all we can get! lol

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The "M" word.

This is going to be a hard and personal subject to blog about, but today I am really down and my brain goes to dark places when that happens. I haven’t ever really talked about this before with many people. My husband and I haven’t even talked about it in deept. I don’t even know why.

This will be a bit TMI so if you don’t want to read it then go somewhere else...

A few years back, my husband was on a business trip. Things were crazy around here like always. I don’t know exactly what happened but I had been feeling off a little. I thought it was just lack of sleep or whatever because I don’t sleep when he isn’t home. I also thought maybe I was going to be starting my period because I had been cramping. I didn’t have a normal monthly period so I was kind of like whatever, if it comes it comes.

I had gone into the bathroom to pee. I pee and go to wipe. When I did, something didn’t feel right. I look and there is a big mass of some sort that had come out of me. I kind of freaked out because it wasn’t a blood clot or anything. I’ve been in the medical field for a while now so I know what is and isn’t normal. I looked at it and it looked like a sac of some kind and I knew. I called my cousin, who is an RN. I asked her what I should do. She told me to go see the doctor. I put the sac in a plastic baggy and put it in a brown paper bag and in my fridge (human tissue deteriorates and cells die faster is not refrigerated properly and quickly so it makes it hard for doctors to diagnose things). Cliff had called later that night and I had told him what happened. I didn’t know how to react to something like that. I was sad. I was in shock. I was clueless. He didn’t know how to comfort me from the other side of the world.

It was a blighted ovum. I miscarried a baby that I didn’t even know was and had stopped growing in me.

"A blighted ovum is a type of miscarriage in which the baby either never develops or stops growing at a very early stage in pregnancy and then disintegrates -- but a gestational sac does develop and the body does not recognize that the baby is missing. A blighted ovum can also be miscarried naturally, in which case the woman would have typical miscarriage symptoms."

I guess it didn’t really hit me till later. At the time it happened I had to focus on the two other kids because Cliff was gone and I was playing "Mommy-Daddy". I couldn’t think about what had just happened.

I guess I still haven’t really sat down and grieved. Why grieve for something like that? Well, regardless on if there was or wasn’t a baby visible, conception happened. Egg and Sperm join creating living cells that would have someday been a baby. Life was made and life was lost. No reason behind it. Just that it happened.

The loss of a pregnancy at any stage is devastating.

I guess I never wanted to come terms with it all until recently. So much change is going on and I sit and think of the “what if” stuff.

But that’s my story. I know so many women who have miscarried a pregnancy. It’s hard but I know that I’m not alone out there in the pain I’m feeling.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Another year has gone by



I married my best friend 9 years ago today. I will say it was the 1st best day in my life outside of my children’s birth days.

It’s crazy to think I’ve been in a relationship with him for so long lol Before him (after my ex); the longest my relationships lasted were a night. No lie. I was 19 and only looking to have a good time. When I met him, I had just gotten out of a year long relationship and was on the rebound. We both fell head over heels for one another and the night we met began a new journey for the both of us.

He left for Japan a month after we met but the distance only made us closer. Although, truth be told... I did get cold feet a month before the wedding. I got scared. 19 and about to be married. But I snapped out of it. Thank goodness. :)

About 2 months into his tour, talks about wedding plans began. He never officially asked me to marry him. We just knew it’s what we both wanted.
He came home in September on 3 weeks leave and we got married in a little chapel called The Hitching Post in Big Bear, CA. We spent our first night as man and wife in a little cottage behind the chapel run by a company called Cathy’s Country Cottages. It was perfect. And affordable! I think our little wedding cost us under $700. That included the cottages, photos (that we had to get developed on our own) and the wedding (21 people).

He went back to Japan to finish up the 6 months he had left on his tour. We had one week together as newlyweds before he had to go back. It was hard to let him go again. But I was floating on air for those months he was gone.

He really has taken care of me these 9 years. Spoiled me to no ends.
He isn’t perfect and lord knows he has made his share of mistakes as have I but we have always seen our way through the darker times and basked in the glory of the brighter times.

9 years has blessed us with a house full of love and 3 beautiful and amazing children. God has blessed us and continues to do so as we move forward.

Friday, September 18, 2009

And so it begins...

I knew eventually I was going to get sick. School starting always seems to bring the germs. Jade brought home a cold last week and now Im coming down with it and I feel just aweful. Stress has totally brought my immune system to a low and I just sucked up those awesome little germs.

Oh and Justin is on a war path with me. He didnt nap all day yesterday. He kept waking up last night. Im tired and cranky.

I just wanna pack my kitchen up and crawl into bed and die.

Monday, September 14, 2009

What a weekend. Glad its over!

This past weekend did not start off on a good foot. Just full of drama between me and my husband. But after talking things through, we pushed past it. It takes a strong love to survive what we have been through in the past few years.

So, that was Friday. Saturday we went and took our wash to the laundry mat. Load our stuff into the machines and turn them on. I thought I had cleaned all my pockets out but when we stared at the stupid glass window, there mocking me was my credit card and license sticking out of my back pocket of a pair of jeans. Eventually the machine stopped (16 minutes later) and we quickly started pulling the wash out and going through it to look for the cards. They were not there!!!! OMG! They had slipped between the machines drain crack and lodged themselves somewhere and there was no getting them back that day.

I had to call the next day to see if they had found them. The woman didn’t speak or understand English very well (makes me kick myself in the butt for not keeping up with my Spanish!! What kind of Mexican am I?!?!?) and I was just going to go in and explain to her what the issue was. Well, I look outside and I have no truck!! Cliff took it. At that point I had just woken up and wasn’t in a good mood as it was so when I saw my truck gone I just ended up getting more frustrated. What topped me off was that I called my husband 67 times in an hour and a half and he didn’t pick up. That’s right; I called him every minute for an hour!! lol He finally called me back and said his phone had been on silent. Okay, first off.. NEVER silence your phone dude!! What if it was a serious emergency?!?! (Pokes Cliff) He had silenced the phone on Friday because “I was texting him too much.” I wanted to kill him at that point lol Any-who, he says he would go to the place and see if he can solve the missing ID and credit card issue. He came home after not being able to find the cards.

He had been out all morning doing nice things. He went grocery shopping, even got my truck cleaned for me. Can we say “You are a Bitch Raquel!” Yeah, I felt horrible. I still do, kind of. No one said being in the wrong was a pleasure. I had to suck up the pride on that one. Made him dinner, gave him a little TLC.

So a little while after he got home, the lady at the laundry mat called and said she opened the machine and got the ID out but still no credit card. The machine was broken so no one was going to be able to use it anyhow. I went and picked up my license which I needed so I could purchase my damn washer and dryer! They wouldn’t let me use my Best Buy credit card to buy them unless I went into the store and verified my identity. So I was elated to get that “We found it” call.

I was so mad at myself for losing the one credit card in the wash. We had to report the card lost which closed out Cliff’s card that he was going to purchase the washer and dryer on. So I had to apply for the BB credit in order to get the deal we got on the machines. We had to buy them before midnight on Saturday. So, needless to say CLEAN YOUR POCKETS OUT!!

I received another call a half hour ago saying they found my credit card in the machine today. Relief. **sigh**

Ill add pics of the credit card later.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

New House Shopping Is FUN!

My New Washer and Dryer I purchased today for the new house.
Perfection!

Washer Features: Wash Cycles 10 Wash Options 3; Temperature Settings Hot/Cold- Warm/Warm- Warm/Cold- Cold/Cold; Spin Speeds High- Medium- Low- No Spin; Soil Levels Heavy- Normal- Light; Detergent Dispenser Trays Main- Softner- Bleach; Maximum Spin Speed (RPM) 1100; Internal Water Heater; Child Lock; End of Cycle Signal

Dryer Features: Drum Material Stainless Steel; Drum Capacity 7.3 cu. ft., Preset Drying Cycles 7, Options 2, Child Lock, Lint Filter Indicator; Remaining Time Display; Adjustable Level of End of Cycle Louder/ Softer/ Off; Adjust Time Up / Down Controls; Language English; Drying Rack Allows tumble-free drying of items like sneakers and stuffed animals; Venting System

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Can't Decide

Should I blog in the morning or should I blog late at night?

When do you blog?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Morning Check List

I had to start a morning check list for myself. I tend to get frazzled with getting 3 kids ready and out the door on time by myself and I forget things. Yesterday it was Robbies glasses. Those things will be the death of me.

So this is what me and the kids do 10 minutes before we walk out the door, I name the items and they yell out "Check". It teaches them some responsibility for their items. I dont had them their backpacks and stuff anymore. They have to get them off the hooks before we head out the door.

The List

Lunches - Check

Backpacks - Check

Folders - Check

Glasses - Check

Shoes - Check

Keys in pocket - Check (They MUST be in the pocket. I can set them down and lose then in a matter of seconds)

Baby Justin - Check

Mommys brain - The verdict is still out on this one.

And we're off! Seems simple enough! This morning went off without a single flaw. I even made it to my 9am doctors appointment on time!

Schools in...



My cutie pies.

Lets see. Robbie started 2nd grade today. Jadie started kindergarten. What??? Wait?? Kindergarten??? NO WAY!!! When did she grow up!?!?! Im still in shock.

They were both excited to start the school day. Daddy walked Robbie to his class and I walked my Jadie to her class. Their classrooms are on different floors so we had to split off. Which was really hard for me because I dont feel like I gave Robbie the proper first day of school goodbye. But its probably better that way since he gets really nervous and tends to start crying if Im around. Jade walked into her classroom with a big smile and took her place like she had been there the whole time. She was more then ready for this day. Me not so much lol

Between falling into a gutter this morning(thats a whole new blog in itself, oye!) and my two babies starting another chapter in their lives, Im an emotional wreck.

Its just me and JT from here on out(or until 3:40pm). Its already so quiet. No fighting amongst the older two. Jades not at my heels asking for a million things. Robbie isnt bothering me about the game. **sigh** I miss them so much right now.

Shoot. I better stop. Im already starting to get teary eyed again.

Monday, September 7, 2009

"Someday you'll have kids of your own and then you'll understand..."

Famous words of parental figures in my life when lecturing me or trying to teach my why they were treating me the way they were.

I never fully understood until I became a parent, what exactly those words meant. Now, I find myself using that same line on my own kids.

A news event happened this past week that sparked a fire with me with the reactions of some people and how they seem to be saying they condone what happened to a woman and a child in a Walmart. I'm sure you are all familiar with the news article that I'm talking about. Where a man told a young mother in Walmart to shut her crying 2 year old up or he would. Then he comes into an isles a little while later, grabs the 2 year old and slaps her in the mouth 4 times. Yeah, that one.

Shopping at Walmart is always an adventure(well, shopping anywhere there are people can be one but Wally World is a story all in itself lol). We all know it isn't the highest of high class shopping centers but its where you'll find a mix population of people. Young and old. Single and married. Parents and non-parents. Normal sounds of the store include but are not limited to check out line scanners beeping, squeaky shopping carts, "Attention Walmart Shoppers" over the PA system and of course the beautiful sounds of children running, playing, crying and occasionally you get a screamer. You sometimes shake your head and move on and sometimes if you run into the screamer and his/her parents you ignore them or you glance at the parent like "dude, come on now." For the most part, I just leave well enough alone. Probably because I myself have gone through a few temper tantrums myself with one of my own. Robbie used to throw himself on the ground and bang his head into walls(he would run full force into a freaking wall!!!) and pavement. I would go nuts trying to figure out how to stop him. Finally I just learned to ignore his tantrums and put him into bed where he couldn't hurt himself. If we were out, Id lock him in his stroller and let him scream. What more can you do? Ive learned to tune my kids out if Ive exhausted all my options. If people don't like it, oh fucking well. Walk away or go shop elsewhere. I DON'T hit my kids. I can count the number of times Ive hit my kids on one hand.

Does my lack of hitting or ignoring my kid during a crying fit make me a bad parent?? Does it mean my children are brats and are uncontrollable?? NO! My children are probably more behaved then 90% of kids out there that are their age. But, I don't lose sight that my children are just that, CHILDREN. Innocent little people who are still learning how to express themselves and how to function in society.

Now, the issues that I'm having with peoples reactions comes from comments that some make about how the child deserved it and how the mother wasn't doing her job as a parent. People making these judgements don't have children of their own or if they do, they obviously need to write a book on perfect parenting because Ill be damned is they haven't gone through at least one episode of the "Crying child" in a public store at one time or another.

Children cry. Children throw tantrums. I know this after having 3 kids. You can be the best parent in the world and try every tactic written in every parenting book but you cannot stop a child from throwing a fit by hitting them. The man who hit this little defenseless 2 year old was not even the child's guardian or parent. He was some asshole having a bad day that saw a weak moment in someone else and took advantage of it. The mother did nothing wrong in the way she was handling her own child. Its no ones business to tell her how to manage her kid unless her child was in danger or was causing someone else harm. That man had NO right what so ever to come near that woman and her offspring.

Had that happened to me, I would of given him a dose of his own poison. Id like to see someone try and tell me to shut my kid up or they'd do it for me. You wouldn't get within 10 feet of my child before you had a hard object upside your head. Its is my duty to protect my children from idiots like this guy and the idiots who are saying what he did wasn't so bad and that the child needed it. Who the hell are you to say that a child who cant defend themselves or even communicate with you other then crying, deserves to be hit in the manner that this man hit this 2 year old baby?

People are so quick to pass judgement on a parent with a screaming child. "Oh look at that, that mother cant even handle her own kid." "Some people don't know how to be parents. Look at the way her kid is screaming and crying." Jesus people!! Were you not babies once????? Did you not cry and scream when you couldn't communicate your needs or wants to your parents????

"She should of left her kid at home"... Seriously? Do you think babysitters grow on trees for all of us? Okay... let me explain this to you over privileged idiots... Not all of us have the luxury of having family around to take our kids while we make a store run. A large majority of us are military wives, single parents and stay at home moms who wear our kids 24/7. As a military wife, I moved from place to place and up until the last 3 years out of the 7 Ive had kids, I had no family or close friends to leave my children with while I went out and ran my errands. My family is in a different state on the opposite side of the country. Friends are hard to find and even harder to keep when you are a military wife. TRUE friends who you would trust to watch your kids are like a needle in a haystack.

So before you pass judgement on another person, maybe you need to step back and rethink the ignorant remark that you are about to make. If you don't have children or if you have little experience with them, then you have NO right to talk like you know how a child is suppose to act and how a mother or father is suppose to be handling them. You want to say something to the parent on their child's behavior, fine... but don't be all shocked when the parent tells you to shut the hell up and mind your own business. Ive done it before to someone telling me I shouldn't yell at my kid for misbehaving.

The whole point of this is, don't speak of what you know nothing of, do not pass judgement upon those you know nothing about and keep your nose out of other peoples lives unless they have a gun pointed at your head or are about to jump out of a 5th story window.

I'm stepping off my soapbox for the time being. But as a last warning... Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge!!!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dont read it if you dont wanna get freaked out a little...

Okay, you will not get me alone in my basement again. No way! No how!

Seriously, if you don't believe in the super natural, or if you think I'm nuts for my ghost stuff, walk away now. I really don't care.

Anywayssssss,

It was about 1045 last night when I heard a noise in the basement. After 4 minutes of yelling at my husband to go see what it was, I got fed up with him and went to check myself. I open the basement door and yell "If you're down there you better run, I got a gun" lol I was lying lmao but it made me giggle a little.

So Cliff follows me down(the strongest always takes the lead haha) and we check things out and nothing is out of place. So whatever, we start to look at his patch work on the ceiling. We are talking about it and just standing there when all of a sudden I get the WORSE chills ever and the feeling of "get the hell out of there" comes over me so I look at Cliff and start to move towards the hallway and I tell him " I gotta go. I cant be in here." I HATE when I get that feeling. Its happened before. I can walk into a house and pick up on something if its there and I can tell in a matter of minutes just by the vibes I get if it wants me there or not. Cliff was fine. No chills or anything but it felt like someone had seriously pointed a vent on me and just let cold air flow on me. The AC was off. The vents in the basement are closed.

Okay so fast forward to tonight.

Cliff is laying on the couch and he says "hey babe?" I'm sitting here at the computer and I'm like "what?" He is like "never mind Ill ask you later." I'm thinking he wants something so I ask him to spell it out or something. He says "I keep seeing something out of the corner of my eye over by the Live, Laugh, Love picture frame. Its happened 3 times already."

So, I'm thinking this could explain the headache Ive had for the last few minutes. I tend to get headaches or chills or just weird feelings when I start to feel things. I call them my spidey senses lol Ive been this way since I was a kid. My family is so weird about stuff like that though so I never had anyone to talk to about it. They would probably call me nuts if I told them even now.

Anywho, Im thinking about having the new house blessed before we move in. It will make me feel more at ease. It may not stop things from happening but it will keep any negitive energy out.

Okay bed time. Tomorrow is open house for the kids! 10am for Chillie 2pm for Bubby. Exciiiiiiting!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I dont know what to think.

So lately, lots of weird stuff has been going on with the kids. They have been seeing things, feeling things and hearing things that I cant explain to them. Call me crazy or whatever, I really dont care because we have had these personal experiences ourselves and know what the deal is.

Ever since we moved in here we have been seeing things. There was the cat shadow in the basement that both Cliff and I saw. Shortly after that the kids would talk about a white cat down there. Jade was 3 and Robbie was 5. Then there was someone or something coming down the basement stairs when me and Cliff were watching TV down there. We thought it was one of the kids waking up and coming to look for us but when we went to check there was no one there. The kids were fast asleep tucked into bed still.

Then there was the incident with Jade seeing a figure run through the hallway from Robbies room. She startled for a moment and was like "mom! I just saw someone run from Robbas(her nickname for her brother) room!" She doesnt have an over active imagination and has never made things up like that. It threw me off none the less. Then there was Robbie telling me a big cat always following him around. He keeps telling me "mom I feel like something is always following me". He was laying in bed talking to me one night and he kinda jumped up and was like "whoa! something just touched my leg." a few nights ago he was laying here again and picked his head up and asked me if I had whispered his name. He said it sounded like someone whispered "Robba" in his ear.

Tonight they both see a blue ball of light dart from the kitchen into the dinning room and it disappears. They were both at the table playing with their play dough and came running to find me to tell me.

Im seriously tired of this house. Im tired of my children being afraid to go into the playroom alone. I dont make a big deal out of the things they tell me because I do not want to feed that fear and put ideas into their heads.

Ive asked what ever it is to leave my kids alone. That this is our house and I will not condone it scaring my kids. I make sure my kids say their bedtime prayers at night and when I go to bed I ask for the lords protection over my family.

Its not fun anymore. I want it to go away.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

WOOHOO!!

He got his raise and promotion!

5% plus 7k in training bonus! Upped to SSEII!!!

He wasnt happy about what they gave him when they sat down and he told them give him the training or work out a different figure for the raise. He got a call a little while ago that said they approved the training bonus.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Rules of Engagement when it comes to friendship and me...

I have a set of standards I follow when it comes to being friends with people. I offer respect to people and its up to them to keep that respect or lose it with their own actions.

This is how I role:

I like you before I hate you. If you haven't given me a reason to dislike you then you are good to go. Which leads me to my next rule...

I give second chances to those who I honestly believe mean well and show change. I'm a sucker with a good heart that sees the good in people but sometimes I am blind to the evil in a person. Ive let people back in after they have hurt me in the past only to be hurt by that person again. The second time is the last time.

I DO NOT gossip about people. I cant stand it! I will turn my head to it and ignore it. I offer that respect to everyone and I hope that the same respect is returned to me.

I DO NOT tell people secrets that they have confided in me. If you tell me something, it goes to my grave with me. I have very very few friends I can trust with my deepest secrets and I hope to god they do not use them as content for gossip. If I find out that what Ive said in confidence to a person has been said to others, the friendship is over then and there. I cannot be friends with people I cannot trust. This includes telling others my personal business that they dont need to know about(seriously, if I havent told them, they dont need to know).

I am not two faced. If I have something to say to you, Ill say it. You will know when I don't like you.

I respect other people opinions and I am open minded to things unless I have my own beliefs already set on certain issues and subjects. We are all unique individuals with different views. We can learn and teach one another.

I do not play high school teenage games. This is REAL life and the REAL world. I graduated school early 10 years ago so I could leave that world behind and grow up.

I understand a lot of people I know are still young and have a lot of growing to do just like I did when I was their age. I wont always agree with their actions but I will respect the fact that we all have to learn through our own trial and errors.

I'm sure I have more but Ill have to add them when I get more free time but these are the most important to me.

Monday, July 27, 2009

finally!!!!

I think he is finally ready to settle in and buy a home! Ive been waiting for this!!! We are going to go look at houses in Bristow. Its still in Fairfax County but the ones we are going to look at are all under $300k and BEAUTIFUL!

Seriously, Im so done with this house! And renting! To finally own a house big enough for my family of 5 that isnt falling apart or leaking will be probably the greatest thing since chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream HAHA.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Motherhood.

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms,wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, 'It's okay honey, Mommy's here.'
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football, soccer or softball games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.

And that when their kids asked, 'Did you see me, Mom?' they could say, 'Of course, I wouldn'thave missed it for the world,' and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair
when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner.
And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.
For all the mothers who read 'Goodnight,Moon' twice a night for a year. And then read it again, 'Just one more time.'
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoe laces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls 'Mom?' in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college -- or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good mother anyway?

Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache she feels when she watches her son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes her from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put her hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes againat 2 A.M. when she just wants to heartheir key in the door and know they are safe again in her home?
Or the need to flee from wherever she is and hug her child when she hears news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...And for mature mothers learning to let go.For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us...Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mother...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

One step at a time...

I love it when my kids come running up to me with a huge smile and the look of accomplishment in their eyes, telling me about what they have just done. By themselves. Its a glorious moment for them and I let them live it. As for me, well... I am happy. But, deep down I know that when they learn to do something on their own, its one less thing they will need me for.

Jade has been struggling with the dreaded sippys! That tiny straw that comes attached to the side and the micro sized hole they want the end of the straw to poke. It just wasnt her thing... Until today. She defeated the sippy! She managed to get the straw into the hole with out squeezing half the contents of the pouch all over her! And she made sure I knew about it :)

I remember the day I realized my Robbie didnt need me to cut up his hot dogs anymore. He had been eatting whole hot dogs for a while but it never dawned on me that I needed to stop cutting them up. You kinda go onto this routine with them and its hard to snap out of it at the right times.

I was sitting down at a resturant with him and Cliff, cutting up the giant hot dog. I looked down at my knife and fork and stopped in the middle of cutting a piece off. I was like "what am I doing? I dont need to do this anymore for him. He's been eatting soild food whole for 5 months now!" I laughed at myself. Then I told Cliff my earth shattering news and went home to shower and cry.

With each child I birth, I start new. But in the end, I still have to stop cutting up the hot dog at one point in time.

Truth be told... I cut up their food sometimes just to do it and tell them that it needed to cool off and that was a faster way of doing it lol

Its hard letting go of the hand you been holding for so long. And it never gets easy to let your newborn become an infant then transform into a toddler only to quickly become school aged. Im not even thinking about college... or them becoming mothers and fathers themselves. Im just enjoying them as they are and extending my hand for the things that they still need me for.

I love my babies... I love them so much!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Isnt she cute!!

I didnt think so either lol

Shes dead now. Cliff had to drown her in bug spray then smash her(what a horrible death!!).

(click to enlarge)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Time for a change...

So today Justin will be moving to Jades room for nap times. The way Im doing it, Im putting his swing in her room to let him get used to the enviorment over the next few weeks. Then Im taking away the swing for his nap times and putting him in his crib.

Nights are still going to be beside me. Im mentally not ready to have him sleep away from me at night lol

This is going to be a challenge. Its time though. He will be 6 months old in a couple days so things need to start changing a little around him.

Bitter sweet change.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Finally some good news...

Got the call Ive been waiting for. The house in NC is going into closing in 4 weeks. The people who are renting across the street from it put an offer in and we accepted. Alot of people passed on the house because we refuse to pay closing costs but its not our problem if they dont have the money.

So, Im crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer that this time it all goes smoother then last time!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Living with low expectations...

I'm beginning to learn to live with lower or no expectations of people, places and things. The less you expect from something or someone then the less you'll be hurt when things don't work out or when you get left behind.

I'm tired of being left out and ignored. Family and friends have rubbed me raw the last month. So raw that I've become numb. Which is a scary point for me. The last time I became numb like this I sunk into a deep hole. Self pity? Depression? Who knows. Who cares. Just lost joy in things. The only thing that kept me up and going was my kids. That's what's going to be my focus this time around.

Whatever. I'm having a bad PPD night. My feelings are hurt tonight but lucky for me I'm to shallow to care. NEXT!!!!!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

People are such sheep.

'Walking well' flood hospitals with -- or without -- flu symptoms

A runny nose. A cough. A sore throat. And even pork eaten a week ago. Hospitals like Sutter Delta Medical Center in Antioch, California, set up triage tents to handle overcrowding After a week of headlines about the H1N1 virus, or swine flu, many emergency rooms and hospitals are crammed with people, many of whom don't need to be there.The visits by the "worried well" have triggered concerns of overburdening the nation's hospitals and emergency departments, several health care professionals told CNN.This week, some hospitals saw record numbers of patients. A few emergency departments shut down to paramedics because of overcrowding. "We have had a lot of nervous patients with minimal respiratory tract symptoms," said Dr. Mark Bell, principal of Emergent Medical Associates, which operates 18 emergency departments in Southern California. "It has caused significant amount of delays in emergency care. They're all walking well." (CNN)

This is why I am pissed about how the whole SWINE FLU(yes I said it!) was originally handled and brought to the public attention! Thank you News media and Government for causing a mass hysteria among the American people!

Unless you have worked in an ER and know how fucking annoying it is to get a rush of idiots in, you can and never will fully understand the frustration behind disgruntle nurses, doctors and other health care professionals. Given, its no excuse for some of their behavior.

I give an exception to the rule of "DON'T COME IN BEFORE SEEING YOUR PRIMARY" to children. Don't take chances with your child if they are sick. I wouldn't with mine.

But grow adults... come on... seriously! Ive have a runny nose, cough and headache, what did I do? I went and made an appointment to see my doctor. Do I have swine flu???!!! NO! And neither do YOU! So get the hell out of the ER and go see your regular doctor and leave the ERs open for people who really need it!!! Morons!

K Im done. I read this and I just had to get it off my chest.

Monday, April 27, 2009

How To Avoid Swine Flu - My version...

Lock yourself in your house!! YAY!

No... don't do that. Horrible advice.

How about we try proper Sanitation and Personal Hygiene!!!!!! And keep your sickness to yourself!!! EXCELLENT IDEA!! I shall elaborate :)

Stay home!

Please!! Keep your germ infested corpse at home. You are doing no one any good by going to work or anywhere else. If anything you are doing damage to healthy people and putting infants and seniors with low immunities at risk.

Working in an office, your germs travel. A/C ducts LOVE to spread germs. Stay the hell away from my husband if you re sick. ITS NOT FUNNY TO COUGH ON PEOPLE AS A JOKE!!! THEY WILL GET SICK AND SOME PEOPLE HAVE FAMILIES TO COME HOME TO WHO CAN AND PROBABLY WILL BE INFECTED, TOO!!!

Kids... **sigh** What can I say. They get sick. It happens. I don't blame them I blame the idiot parents who send them to school to infect everyone else.

DON'T SEND YOUR SICK CHILDREN TO SCHOOL!!! KEEP THEM HOME!! I DON'T WANT MY KID INFECTED BY YOUR IGNORANCE AND YOUR SICK KID!

Trust me... I ask my kid when he comes down with something if anyone in his class has been sick and he tells me who. I KNOW your kid was sick so it makes me hate you even more when you send him/her to school. Its not that hard to understand... if your child shows symptoms of an illness, they ARE in fact contagious.

Hand washing

This is the best way to stop the circle of sickness. WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS!!!!!! WAAAAAAAASH THEM!!!!

• Before starting work.
• Before and after handling food, especially raw meats, poultry and seafood.
• After using the bathroom.
• After eating.
• After handling money or soiled items.
• After handling garbage or using cleaning supplies.
• After coughing, sneezing or blowing your nose. (This may be a sign of illness and the person should not be handling food.)
• After touching hair, face or body.
• Anytime you change tasks.

Clean and Sanitize Surfaces

For me this means one thing... If you are sick and HAVE to go out in public, PLEASE, PLEASE WIPE DOWN THE AREAS YOU TOUCH!!! Shopping carts, door... etc... keep your germs to yourself. Carry a hand sanitizer in your pocket!! I'm SO grateful that my stores put in alcohol wipes at the front doors so I can wipe the carts down.

• Keep surfaces clean. Use paper towels and cleaning cloths to wipe kitchen surfaces and spills. Sanitize surfaces regularly, especially after working with raw meat, poultry, and seafood.
• Wash cleaning cloths often in hot cycle of washing machine and keep in sanitizing solution between uses. Change the sanitizing solution frequently.
• Wash cutting boards, utensils and food preparation surfaces with hot, soapy water after preparing each food item, before starting the next task. Use separate cutting boards for produce and raw meat, poultry and seafood. Replace cutting boards that are worn or have deep grooves.
• Whenever possible, use a commercial dishwasher. If you are washing by hand, use the 5 step process: 1) Remove excess food from utensils and equipment 2) Wash with hot, soapy water 3) Rinse with clean water 4) Sanitize using a bleach solution. 5) Air dry

Sanitizing Solution
1 tablespoon bleach
1 gallon water
Mix together.
(Courtesy of some University in Hawaii)


Okay Im sort of done with my version of keeping the germs away. Ill add more probably later. Im in a foul mood today so if this offends anyone, I wish you could be here to see my "I dont give a fock" face.

Kisses.

Wish List... Photography stuff...

SAY IT ISNT SO!!!! There are things I cant have RIGHT NOW??!?!!??!?!?!?? lol If you know me well, you know that I get what I want when I want it... but Yeah, I spent too much last month and went over my budget on crap I really dont need. lol So, Im stuck waiting til payday.

But I can still make a list of what I want!! :) Over time Ill collect these items.



Lowepro Fastpack 100 Camera Backpack

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Nikon MLL3 Remote Control Transmitter for Camera - Ultra slim wireless remote shutter trigger for Nikon SLR N65 , N75 , and Lite Touch compact models 110s, 130 ED / Pouch Included.


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MADE Products CA-1134-BLK Camera Armor for Nikon D60 Digital SLR Cameras (Black)


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53" Aluminum Camera Tripod w/Bubble Level (Silver)

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Nikon D60 inBrief Laminated Reference Card (Pamphlet)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Sometimes you just wanna lay down....

And never get back up.

PPD has struck and I thought I was past the worse but yesterday was a wake up call for me. Depression is hanging its ugly grey cloud over me and I'm having a hard time getting out from under it.

This is the part I hate after having a baby. Between feeling like a cow, not getting enough sleep, having insecurities with my body and my freaking hair falling out(normal post prego thing but damn, month 3 and I'm surprised I'm not bald already!!), it hits me like a ton of bricks. I thought I would get away with not getting bad after having Justin but I guess I was wrong. I can see myself sinking but as of this moment I don't have the energy to pull myself back up. I went through this when I had Robbie and I managed but it took forever. I know what I should and shouldn't be doing its just a matter of setting my foot down.

I don't know. I need to figure something out and quickly. Just over worked and under paid... feeling unappreciated and worn thin... what mom isn't though. blah.

http://ppdhope.com/

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Content..

I'm really content with life right now.

Everything has calmed down and is flowing beautifully.

My kids have been amazing this week. Oh heck, they are always amazing!

Robbie has shocked me with his Tae Kwon Do this week. Ive been slacking on taking him because its just hard to get out the door with the three of them. His next test is this coming Wednesday. I thought for sure he didnt know his form and that we would be skipping this test. That was until Friday. I sat there and watched as Master Art called him up since he was the only Green Belt. I watched him do his form without one mistake. We can work on the power he puts into it but he knows his form! I had a smile from ear to ear. I let him know how proud I am of him and how he is so ready for his next belt. I love my boy! Although he wants to take a break after this belt. His contract is up for renewal soon and I asked him if he would like to take a rest or keep going. He wants to take a break. Its been non-stop for him. Soccer, TKD, School... just a little much for him and I see it.

Jade is growing. Her vocabulary expanding. The way she words things is adorable. Tonight at the movies Cliff put his 3D glasses on and she starts to laugh and says "Who are you? Wheres my daddy?!?" giggling the whole time. She said it so clear! I'm hoping this summer we can get her into horse riding classes. Or back into Ballet. We will see what shes up for.

Justin was adorable tonight. He is such a happy baby! All my kids are happy kids. We took Justin to the movies with us to go see Monsters vs Aliens. He sat there and watched it with us! Didn't cry once! Fell asleep about a half hour before it ended. Seriously, there was a 1 1/2 year old there that was screaming half the time.

I am truly blessed. I really am.

Things between me and Cliff as amazing. I love being able to talk to him finally. Finally feeling like he understands me and isnt working against me. Its been a work in progress building back trust. Took a lot for me to allow him on this last trip. Yes, allow... he wouldnt have gone if I didnt give him an okay. But its what I needed. I have to let go of the hurt he caused me and move forward and forgive. He has had to work on forgiving me, but its harder for him to do that for some reason. Im just going to have to stick it out though. He will come around eventually and let God take over. Once he accepts that he CAN forgive, he will be a much more content person. Time will heal all.

Mmmmm, so yeah... Im happy. Ive finally let love in fully and Ive left myself open for him. If he hurts me then thats a chance I have to take to fully enjoy love. Ive spent all my life hiding my heart away and pushing away people so they dont get to close. Im done playing that. I still guard what I need to. We all have to.

Im going to start rambling here soon. Its late and Im tired.

TBC......

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

My photo site...

Since this is more of a personal blog I decided to start keeping my photo blog separate.

R. Newton Photography

Its a work in progress... Just the slide show for now but I will fix it with something creative when I get some time...

Enjoy.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Its sucking me in!!!!

AHHHHHHH, I'm now on twitter. First I was a myspace junkie... then I graduated to facebook-aholic and now, now I will probably end up twitting my life away.

Meh, oh well... I will admit that this blog has helped me keep my cool in the last month. Its nice to have an outlet and one that I don't have to worry about being perfect with. Keeping a written journal for a person like me is a death sentence. Its never perfect and I re-write an entry 5 million times.

Okay so where do I start? Sick kids? Sick husband? Cranky, teething 4 month old? The weather? So much to blog about...

My kids are sick. Jade started out last week with a fever and a headache which went away after a day. But, she started losing her voice Saturday afternoon and a leaky nose soon came after. Her nasty cough started last night. Robbie has a slight cough too but no where near as bad.

Saturday we enjoyed a family outing at the park. Oh gosh it was an amazing day. The storms cleared and blue sky's took over. The temperature was just right and it was BBQing time! Cliff had returned home Friday night and just wanted a relaxing Saturday. So that's exactly what he got. It was a good weekend. Wish it didn't have to end.

I'm exhausted though. I have my days and nights mixed up now. I got used to staying up late at night waiting for him to call when he was gone. Sunday I slept 50% of the day away. Justine was curled up next to me the whole time which I'm sure had something to do with it... we both sleep rather well when we are next to one another.

I miss him. He's napping at the moment. Sometimes I want to go wake him up just to see his smile. He makes my cheeks hurt when he is awake because when he smiles I smile. lol Same goes for Rob and Jade. We cant get enough of one another. I love it!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Slacking...

Yup, that's totally what Ive been doing! I haven't blogged in a few days..

Kids and I have been busy just having fun and hanging out.

Sunday we did yard work. I actually mowed our lawn! Raked! and pulled the dead mums from my garden bed lol The only issue I had and I'm pissed at myself for it is I couldn't start the mower at first...wtf kind of Mexican cant start a lawn mower?!?!?!?!??!?!?! :P

Monday was the same old routine... get up, school and tae kwon do.
Tuesday same old...
Wednesday...had lunch with TT and the kids...

Tomorrow I have to haul ass and cleeeeeeean!!! Like massive clean so that I can enjoy my husband when he gets home...Just totally sucks that I wont be getting any action because of certain issues. BLAH..

I'm going to bed. Tomorrow Ill try and blog about my new cool hobbies. lol Quilling and other cute stuff I can do now.

Night :)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Day 5...

Need I even go into details? Seriously?? Don't put me through that...lol

So I went to brunch with the kids. Then we headed over to Tanya's. I love having her around. Shes so filled with positive energy that when you re around her it just makes you feel warm and welcome.

So Cliff says I don't say enough positive things about him in my blogs lol Which is true, but then again, I brag about him so much in real life and to him face to face I don't want to blow his ego up anymore then it is lol JUST KIDDING!!

The last few years we have done a ton of growing and transforming. We went from on the verge of a divorce to picking up the pieces and forgiving each others sins against our holy union.

It hasn't been easy. To be honest, Ive wanted to throw the towel in more then once... That was many months ago though. Justin being born was a new start for us as a couple. I say the birth of little bug was the birth of a new love. Since then we have not had more then 3-4 fights and we have been communicating with one another. That was the huge issue from the get go with me and him. Years of counseling didn't touch the surface with us. It was mostly me. I had to change. I wasn't brought up in a home where we talked about things. Feelings came out in fits of rage and violence or we just bottled them up until we couldn't take it anymore.

Cliff is a good man. He is still learning his role as a husband and father just like I'm learning mine as a wife and mother. We now have an understanding that in order for this to work we have to use the forces that are working against us and make them work for us. Real problems exists in this world is less % for human beings, most % of the problems is created due to negative thinking and only by changing the way of
thinking, can stop giving birth for more problems. Think crap, you will become successful in becoming crap in your life, think nice things about yourself, you will become the same in future. Try to think and utilize the positive force from nature. Nature has unlimited force, use it effectively.

Marriage is work. Its not for people who run from their problems. Its not for those who think it will make other problems go away. Its an addition of a new life to your old life. A new chapter in your story. And you need to make sure to write it well because some pages you just cant go back and edit.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

In The Motherhood...

Don't forget... ABC 7, TOMORROW NIGHT 8/7C

http://itm.abc.go.com/

You know what Ill be doing :)

Day 4...

I'm tireeeeed.

Woke up at 730.

Got kids ready.

Took Robbie to school.

Came home.

Cleaned up.

Nap time for little bug.

Got Robbie from school.

Tae Kwon Do.

Home.

Dinner.

Kids in bed.


.............has my life seriously become this dull schedule? Black and White with my kids being the added color to my world. But when they are asleep... its black and white again :(

I'm depressed now.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Day 3...

Woke up around 730 again.

Got the kids ready and took Robbie to school. After dropping him off I headed out to get an oil change for the truck. LOOOOONG overdue!! Took about a half hour... I was on the phone with Cliff when the bill came. $44 freaking dollars!! WTF?!?!!? I could of gone to shell and had it done for $25!! Oh well, lesson learned.

Any who, came home and napped. Woke up and went to get Robbie. Tae Kwon Do class at 410. Came home around 5 and started dinner. Went outside for a little while. Was a beautiful day but kinda cool out still.

So I'm putting the kids to bed here soon... then Ill feed Justin again and put him down and hopefully stay up long enough to talk to hubs.

Tomorrow is his birthday. Sucks that he cant spend it at home. :(

Day 2...

Woke up a little later then I wanted... but considering I had gone to bed at 3am(Thanks Angie lol), 730 isn't over doing to too much. Got the kids ready to take Robbie to school. Headed out the door around 815. Got home and did some stuff around the house. Laid the baby down around 11 for a nap. Went to get Robbie around 1230. Headed to the store to fill the babys prescription. Before I knew it, it was time for massive running around. Got home... made dinner and put the kids to bed around 830.

I watched TV for a little while and finally passed out on the couch. I have no clue how I heard my phone but I did lol

Talked to Cliff for a while then went up to shower. Justin woke up. Fed him and put him back to bed. I finally laid my head down and ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ.

The End lol

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Day one of Single mom life...

Well, we dropped Cliff off at the airport this morning bright and early. I managed to slip away without crying too much. I think my heart was broken more for Robbie. He has a hard time with Cliff and I leaving. So, I had to deal with tears from him all the way home. He will be okay.



Finally got settled into bed around 5am after I fed Justin and put him down. 8am came way too fast! The older kids were up and ready to start the day. They watched a movie in Robbies room while I slowly started waking up. Finally rolled out of bed and started the day.



Didn't do much. Just way too tired and lacking any type of productive energy. Waited for Cliff to call or write saying he got to his destination safely. Finally heard from him around 4. MSN messenger will be our lifeline from now till the day he leaves. Was nice seeing his face on cam though. Made me happy. The kids got to talk to him, too.



So I got dinner together. I really need to clean the kitchen today. I was kinda left with a huge mess when he left but it will get done over time.



Put the monkeys to bed around 9. Tomorrow should be the real test. I'm not used to getting up and having to get 3 people ready to head out the door to take Robbie to school.



Guess Ill go watch some TV now until Justin wakes up for his midnight feeding and change.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Soccer Season Starts Soon!!!!

EEEEEEEEK!! I cant wait to finally get my Robbie on the field again!

  1. I love seeing him out there playing and doing his best.
  2. I LOVE pictures!!! Now that I have my new camera, you bet your ass Ill be a camera queen!
  3. Just spending time with moms Ive met over the last few seasons is awesome.

I CANT WAIT!!!

Why I play WoW...

OMG!!! YOU'RE A GEEK WHO PLAYS ONLINE COMPUTER GAMES!!!

WRONG!

I'm a girly gamer who plays an online computer game. When I can. Which isn't often anymore. Maybe a few times a week. Late at night. When I'm all alone. (such a lonely place...so cold...so cold) lol Okay not really...Cliff plays too and we play together.

Why do I play?

Well, because its fun. I've made some good online friends there.(I still love my real life friends, I really do) I've come to reach a certain degree of self actualization playing the game, too. I'm good at what I do on there. "LEET" as we would say. lol

Some people get to far into gaming. Its cool if you play a game and don't get so involved that you forget you have a real life outside of the computer screen. It becomes an addiction if you reach a point where nothing matters but playing.

I cant neglect my kids for a game. Not my nature. They come first. I'll log out in the middle of a raid if I need to. Its just a game.

Okay, so I forgot my point to this blog.

I'm a gamer chick. The end. haha

Friday, March 13, 2009

"The Shack"

First off, regardless of what reviews you have seen about this book, read it. It's amazing. It will open your eyes to so many things. I laughed and cried all with in the first hour of reading the book. I bought the book to read not even knowing what it was about. My cousin talked it up enough that I gave in. It took me 3 days to read. Only because I HAD to put the book down to give my brain a rest because some of it was just so intense and made me think way to hard! So without giving it away, Ill give my view on the book.


A man named Mack suffers a rough childhood. Runs away at a young age. Grows up and gets married and has children. He suffers an unimaginable loss one summer. 3 years pass and a mystery letter appears in his mailbox. An invitation back to the place his life took a horrible turn. Its signed "Papa". Mack decided to venture back to this place of sadness and experiences something that I can only describe as amazing.

I only wish I could experience something as beautiful as he did. It touched my life and changed the way I view things. I learned about the process of grieving, forgiveness and how God is never to far away and how every event; be it good or bad fits into each one of our lives.

Amazing book. Amazing.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Monday, March 9th 2009

Its a new week and I've still yet to really catch up with the last two weeks.

Between doctors appointments and getting my act together for when Cliff leaves, I've totally lost myself.

Oh Well. Shit happens.

Any who, So here I am again. A new blog. I never really blogged in the last one but screw it. I started new. Clean slate.

I have a million things on my mind. Gotta start somewhere.