She's here!

Ill dig right in. Be warned. Serious TMI posting! Long too. I like to ramble. Its fun for me later when I go back and read old blogs I've written and relive them.

Last Wednesday(11/30) I started having really bad cramps and my mucus discharge went from clear/white to tinged with pink blood. I thought 'great! Maybe Ill progress from 2cm to something I can work with!' Thursdays OB appointment was disappointing. I hadn't budged. I gave up. I was going to be pregnant FOREVER!

Cramps continued throughout Friday. Still hurt like the dickens, still pink tinged mucus. It was my birthday and I wanted a baby. Unfortunately, baby didnt want to share birthdays.
Saturday rolls around and we lay around all day. Later in the evening we run to do grocery shopping and a quick trip to Kohls to get my MIL a gift. Before we hit the stores, we took Jade for a haircut and Cliff talked me into getting a pedicure. It was amazing and long overdue!
So we get done with our pedi(hubs got one too. He couldn't say no to a salon full of estrogen lol) and get our shopping going. Like usual, I started my contractions while walking around thanks to my husband who was 10 steps ahead of me trying to get me to go into labor. Nothing painful but typical annoying squeezies.

Around 830, we head home. We turned down our street off the main road and Cliff starts messing with my brakes because they were slick from the carwash we had taken it through earlier. As he is stepping on and off the brake, I feel something inside me 'snap'. Thats the best way to describe it. I tell Cliff 'that was weird. Either Lily just kicked me or my water broke.' So, Im trying to figure it out because I wasn't leaking or anything. We get home, I walk inside, stop for a minute and tell Cliff he is on his own for a second while I use the bathroom. I took 5 steps and TADA! Leakage! 'BABE! MY WATER BROKE! THAT'S WHAT I FELT!' So I run upstairs, shower and enjoy the game of 'wtf do I wear so I don't leak everywhere?' AH HA! I stuck one of Justins diapers between my legs and suited up! We stuck around the house for a while and got the kids organized and I got my last minute bag stuff thrown together. Gave the doc a call and told him Id see him soon.
Contractions were starting to come every 3-5 minutes after about an hour and getting painful so I knew we needed to head out. Its one thing to labor at home with water intact but for me its another to do it when water has broken and its my 4th baby.

We hit the road and now Im starting to feel them. Cramps from hell. Cliff would hold my hand as they came and squeeze as tight as I was squeezing his hand. It helped A LOT! We roll up to the hospital and go through ER. I walk up to the ER admin desk where theres 5 nurses sitting chatting 'what can we do for ya?' to which I reply 'where do I go to have a baby?' They laugh and have me fill out a form blah blah blah, wheel chair, long ride to L&D. They set me in a triage room where I waited forever with a husband who just sat there and drank his coffee all calm like. At this point Im hurting and he was about to DIE! Not really, but he wouldn't shut up LOL

Nurse comes in finally! Makes me dress in the dreaded gown. Does the magic blue swab to be sure my water broke and hooks me up to the monitor. Cliff loves the monitor! He loves to watch my waves. As we are sitting there, I keep laboring and he keeps telling me 'they aren't that bad. I've seen your peaks reach a lot higher then halfway!' Um yeah, they hurt. 'They aren't that bad'. UM STFU! Yes, he is still in his chair with his coffee. Yes, had I not been hooked up and in pain, I would of choked him.

So I get wheeled to my room. Get settled in. Walked around a little. My nurse, Pam, comes in. Sweet as sugar. Best nurse Id ever had. Was familiar with natural birthing since she did it with 3 of her own. I had to sign forms between contractions with her. Annoying. She hooked me up again to the stupid monitor. Laying down was the worse thing ever. So painful. I wanted to get up.

Cliff held my hand and helped me breathe through the majority of labor. My focal point, a green sticker on the ceiling. I dunno why but that's what I concentrated on with each contraction. Cliff would tell me when the contraction was peaking and coming down. He did good. I love him for it.
THEM BITCHES HURT! Id never felt such intense pain. Normally by this time(contractions coming every 2 min), Id of had an epi in and would be fast asleep until it was time to push. I have no pain tolerance.

This went on for a while(few hours). Finally, I got to my breaking point. Yes, I let myself down. I failed. I gave in. I asked for an epidural. I hate myself for it. Im crying right now even thinking about how I was so set in doing this unmedicated and I just caved. FAIL! But, Im proud of how long it took me before I asked. I fought it. I felt the pain I needed to feel. I went in seeing if I could do it, now I know I can't lol

At some point the babies heart rate started to drop with each contraction. So I was given oxygen and put on my right side. I fell asleep for a little while. Maybe an hour or so. I woke up to pain. My right side had gone completely numb and my left was feeling everything. My epi had failed me lol Pam checked me and said I was almost complete. I needed 20 more minutes or so and Id be pushing. She disappeared and I never saw her again. 20 minutes later, a new nurse shows up, then the doctor comes in to check me. Pam was off helping in another delivery. I was complete, +3. Baby Lily was knocking at the door ready to meet the world! The doc gets geared up, says 5 pushes and she should be out. Cliff gets the camera ready and assumes his position behind my left leg lol Nurse grabs the other leg. Doc says next contraction, push. I look at him and tell him I can't tell when the next one was coming because I could only feel half my body lol so the nurse watches the monitor
and told me when.

1 push, heads out!
1/2 push, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LILY!  December 4th 2011 @ 3:52AM bright and early!

I think we shocked everyone in the room with how quickly she came lol Even Cliff was like 'whoa'. No tearing or anything. Perfect delivery! And yes, I felt the burn as her head popped out.

There she was! Covered in beautiful slime, all up on my chest. Screaming. Oh my word, she has a set of lungs on her!

Daddy cut the cord. They let me have her for a few minutes then took her to the warmer to clean her up and let daddy take a few pictures :( my stupid lens was on manual so they came out blurry. Totally my fault. I should of checked before hand. But its okay. They weighed Lily and she was an even 8lbs. HOLY COW! I thought for sure she would be smaller! Nope. 8lbs and 19in long.

Doc finished up delivering the placenta and congratulated us and left.
My nurse let us have some 1 on 1 time with the baby. After a little bit, she took Lily and Cliff off to the nursery so they could check her over and clean her up.

I got to eat a sandwich while they did that. Nurse came back and helped me get ready to switch over to the mommy baby unit. I could of totally walked everywhere but she was insistent I get wheeled to the PP ward. My epidural wore off and I just wanted to pee. LOL

So there it is. I really tried with the whole natural birthing thing. I mean, I did it. Just not the way I wanted to with only half my body drugged lol. Its sad to think Ill never get another shot at this. :( my baby making days are over.