Day 5...

Need I even go into details? Seriously?? Don't put me through that...lol

So I went to brunch with the kids. Then we headed over to Tanya's. I love having her around. Shes so filled with positive energy that when you re around her it just makes you feel warm and welcome.

So Cliff says I don't say enough positive things about him in my blogs lol Which is true, but then again, I brag about him so much in real life and to him face to face I don't want to blow his ego up anymore then it is lol JUST KIDDING!!

The last few years we have done a ton of growing and transforming. We went from on the verge of a divorce to picking up the pieces and forgiving each others sins against our holy union.

It hasn't been easy. To be honest, Ive wanted to throw the towel in more then once... That was many months ago though. Justin being born was a new start for us as a couple. I say the birth of little bug was the birth of a new love. Since then we have not had more then 3-4 fights and we have been communicating with one another. That was the huge issue from the get go with me and him. Years of counseling didn't touch the surface with us. It was mostly me. I had to change. I wasn't brought up in a home where we talked about things. Feelings came out in fits of rage and violence or we just bottled them up until we couldn't take it anymore.

Cliff is a good man. He is still learning his role as a husband and father just like I'm learning mine as a wife and mother. We now have an understanding that in order for this to work we have to use the forces that are working against us and make them work for us. Real problems exists in this world is less % for human beings, most % of the problems is created due to negative thinking and only by changing the way of
thinking, can stop giving birth for more problems. Think crap, you will become successful in becoming crap in your life, think nice things about yourself, you will become the same in future. Try to think and utilize the positive force from nature. Nature has unlimited force, use it effectively.

Marriage is work. Its not for people who run from their problems. Its not for those who think it will make other problems go away. Its an addition of a new life to your old life. A new chapter in your story. And you need to make sure to write it well because some pages you just cant go back and edit.

In The Motherhood...

Don't forget... ABC 7, TOMORROW NIGHT 8/7C

http://itm.abc.go.com/

You know what Ill be doing :)

Day 4...

I'm tireeeeed.

Woke up at 730.

Got kids ready.

Took Robbie to school.

Came home.

Cleaned up.

Nap time for little bug.

Got Robbie from school.

Tae Kwon Do.

Home.

Dinner.

Kids in bed.


.............has my life seriously become this dull schedule? Black and White with my kids being the added color to my world. But when they are asleep... its black and white again :(

I'm depressed now.

Day 3...

Woke up around 730 again.

Got the kids ready and took Robbie to school. After dropping him off I headed out to get an oil change for the truck. LOOOOONG overdue!! Took about a half hour... I was on the phone with Cliff when the bill came. $44 freaking dollars!! WTF?!?!!? I could of gone to shell and had it done for $25!! Oh well, lesson learned.

Any who, came home and napped. Woke up and went to get Robbie. Tae Kwon Do class at 410. Came home around 5 and started dinner. Went outside for a little while. Was a beautiful day but kinda cool out still.

So I'm putting the kids to bed here soon... then Ill feed Justin again and put him down and hopefully stay up long enough to talk to hubs.

Tomorrow is his birthday. Sucks that he cant spend it at home. :(

Day 2...

Woke up a little later then I wanted... but considering I had gone to bed at 3am(Thanks Angie lol), 730 isn't over doing to too much. Got the kids ready to take Robbie to school. Headed out the door around 815. Got home and did some stuff around the house. Laid the baby down around 11 for a nap. Went to get Robbie around 1230. Headed to the store to fill the babys prescription. Before I knew it, it was time for massive running around. Got home... made dinner and put the kids to bed around 830.

I watched TV for a little while and finally passed out on the couch. I have no clue how I heard my phone but I did lol

Talked to Cliff for a while then went up to shower. Justin woke up. Fed him and put him back to bed. I finally laid my head down and ZzZzZzZzZzZzZ.

The End lol

Day one of Single mom life...

Well, we dropped Cliff off at the airport this morning bright and early. I managed to slip away without crying too much. I think my heart was broken more for Robbie. He has a hard time with Cliff and I leaving. So, I had to deal with tears from him all the way home. He will be okay.



Finally got settled into bed around 5am after I fed Justin and put him down. 8am came way too fast! The older kids were up and ready to start the day. They watched a movie in Robbies room while I slowly started waking up. Finally rolled out of bed and started the day.



Didn't do much. Just way too tired and lacking any type of productive energy. Waited for Cliff to call or write saying he got to his destination safely. Finally heard from him around 4. MSN messenger will be our lifeline from now till the day he leaves. Was nice seeing his face on cam though. Made me happy. The kids got to talk to him, too.



So I got dinner together. I really need to clean the kitchen today. I was kinda left with a huge mess when he left but it will get done over time.



Put the monkeys to bed around 9. Tomorrow should be the real test. I'm not used to getting up and having to get 3 people ready to head out the door to take Robbie to school.



Guess Ill go watch some TV now until Justin wakes up for his midnight feeding and change.

Soccer Season Starts Soon!!!!

EEEEEEEEK!! I cant wait to finally get my Robbie on the field again!

1. I love seeing him out there playing and doing his best.
2. I LOVE pictures!!! Now that I have my new camera, you bet your ass Ill be a camera queen!
3. Just spending time with moms Ive met over the last few seasons is awesome.

I CANT WAIT!!!

Why I play WoW...

OMG!!! YOU'RE A GEEK WHO PLAYS ONLINE COMPUTER GAMES!!!

WRONG!

I'm a girly gamer who plays an online computer game. When I can. Which isn't often anymore. Maybe a few times a week. Late at night. When I'm all alone. (such a lonely place...so cold...so cold) lol Okay not really...Cliff plays too and we play together.

Why do I play?

Well, because its fun. I've made some good online friends there.(I still love my real life friends, I really do) I've come to reach a certain degree of self actualization playing the game, too. I'm good at what I do on there. "LEET" as we would say. lol

Some people get to far into gaming. Its cool if you play a game and don't get so involved that you forget you have a real life outside of the computer screen. It becomes an addiction if you reach a point where nothing matters but playing.

I cant neglect my kids for a game. Not my nature. They come first. I'll log out in the middle of a raid if I need to. Its just a game.

Okay, so I forgot my point to this blog.

I'm a gamer chick. The end. haha

"The Shack"

First off, regardless of what reviews you have seen about this book, read it. It's amazing. It will open your eyes to so many things. I laughed and cried all with in the first hour of reading the book. I bought the book to read not even knowing what it was about. My cousin talked it up enough that I gave in. It took me 3 days to read. Only because I HAD to put the book down to give my brain a rest because some of it was just so intense and made me think way to hard! So without giving it away, Ill give my view on the book.


A man named Mack suffers a rough childhood. Runs away at a young age. Grows up and gets married and has children. He suffers an unimaginable loss one summer. 3 years pass and a mystery letter appears in his mailbox. An invitation back to the place his life took a horrible turn. Its signed "Papa". Mack decided to venture back to this place of sadness and experiences something that I can only describe as amazing.

I only wish I could experience something as beautiful as he did. It touched my life and changed the way I view things. I learned about the process of grieving, forgiveness and how God is never to far away and how every event; be it good or bad fits into each one of our lives.

Amazing book. Amazing.

Monday, March 9th 2009

Its a new week and I've still yet to really catch up with the last two weeks.

Between doctors appointments and getting my act together for when Cliff leaves, I've totally lost myself.

Oh Well. Shit happens.

Any who, So here I am again. A new blog. I never really blogged in the last one but screw it. I started new. Clean slate.

I have a million things on my mind. Gotta start somewhere.