Thursday, February 24, 2011

I wonder...

So, Ive had some down time lately and that means a lot of time to think. There is a bunch of stuff on my mind from Justins health to my own.

Yesterday I was thinking about my miscarriage in September. I was trying to figure out all the things I could of possibly done that might of caused it. I know, I know.. they happen but it doesn't stop a woman from thinking this way from time to time. Its a natural process but its also hard to accept because we always are looking for a cause to things that happen in life.

I started thinking back before I even found out I was pregnant. Vacations, drinking like a mad woman with friends, flying, stress, Justin jumping on my belly just a few days before our loss. All of it could of caused some kind of damage to my growing baby that might have contributed to her death. I thought back even further and something stood out in my head.... My IUD.

I had issues with getting an IUD but I needed a more reliable form of birth control since I fail at taking the pill. Ive always been afraid to get an IUD because of the damage it could cause my uterus. I'm not cool with sticking objects in my body that shouldn't be there. I'm not even cool with taking a birth control pill because they cause miscarriages to occur. Yes, believe it or not, if an egg is fertilized while you are on the pill, you will lose that pregnancy because the pill causes your lining to not be favorable for the egg to implant. But drug companies and doctors FAIL to tell you this. This is also why a birth control pill is not 100% and only 92% effective. Theres that 8% chance the egg will implant.

Anywho, maybe the IUD did something to my uterus. Ive had no issues with completing a pregnancy to full term(except for the blighted ovum). Then I get the IUD removed, get pregnant months later and lose the pregnancy. Then the chemical pregnancy happens. So, I wonder if the two go hand in hand.

Its just a thought though. Who knows. All I know is that Im not going to be introducing any chemicals into my body ever again. No more birth control. No more! If I get pregnant again, thats a personal choice for me and my husband. We both know we will be okay. Babies in this house are a blessing! Now....Dear body, HOLD ON TO MY BABIES AND STOP LOSING THEM!!!!

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